This is what we are told by those who oppose our right-to-die activism.
Of course we care and of course we are not killers.
We want grown-up people to make their own choices. Old people are not children, who need grown-ups to patronize them.
We will all be old one day. Most of us are old, not yet that old that the question arises: do we want to go on living or are we ready to say good-bye to our loved ones and depart while still autonomous and fully conscious?
I know a few very old people, who are surrounded by their families and who are quite happy….Mrs B…is 99 years old….She lives in a beautiful mansion in Hamburg and her three grown-up children (in their sixties) live very close by , on the same compound….They include her in their lives and they also can afford nurses to wash her, dress her…..bring her to bed or to the toilet…..her mind has not completely deserted her but she sometimes is not quite sure who she is talking to: her son or a stranger? She asks with a smile on her face and all in all seems quite content. She cannot move without holding on to somebody, but there is always somebody to hold on to.
Unfortunately most of our elders are not as lucky as Mrs B and are tucked away in nursing homes or hospitals or left on their own …….
Madame L …in Paris lives alone. She is 92, almost blind, incontinent and cannot go for a walk on her own. In August her daughter is away and so is her “gardienne” the lady who usually takes care of the building and walks for half an hour a day with Madame L…for 15 Euros a walk.
Madame L has no incurable disease except old age and she is begging me to help…She actually has been begging me for the past 2 years, but there was nothing I could do, not even could the Swiss organizations agree to help: she did not fulfill the required conditions.
Madame L has a beautiful view of the Eiffel tower but she can’ t see it anymore. She lies for hours on her bed, can neither read nor watch TV….She is tired of living…..If only she had the magical pill (which does not exist) or at least 10 g of sodium pentobarbital to mix with some water, she would be able to just go to sleep and not wake up.
This is forbidden in France. So she has to go on living against her will.
Madame H was in a nursing-home in Paris a couple of months ago. She was totally paralyzed but her mind was very clear. She called us for help. I went to see her. Her eyes lit up when she saw me: “ Did you bring the pill? “ I had to explain that there was no such pill….She started sobbing….I took her in my arms and I said that I would not let her down.
I said it , but could not keep my promise. I spoke to her daughter and to the director of the nursing-home, who both decided to send Mrs H to hospital for “further investigations”
She had already received a blood transfusion against her will ( and incidentally against the Leonetti law)
I told the daughter and the lady directing the nursing home: “Mrs H just wants to die” and the nursing- home director scoffed at me:”But that is what they all want “ and suddenly I realized that all these people on their wheelchairs or lying alone in their rooms were just waiting for death.
The daughter had already given away her mother’s apartment to her son. Therefore her mum could not be brought home, where I eventually could have helped her ( perhaps by breaking the law but I have the courage of my convictions)
So Mrs H was taken to a hospital and “investigations” were undertaken against her will again. They discovered a colon tumour and were about to operate…..I managed to convince the daughter not to allow this to happen….her mother eventually died a couple of weeks later, but her head was turned towards the wall and she refused to talk to anyone anymore.I felt like a traitor because I had told her that I would not let her down.
Will anybody dare say that I did not care ? I actually did care a lot and that is why I wanted to help her to fall asleep on her own terms the moment she had decided to.
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